For the past six months I have been writing a book currently called SoulForce: Unleashing your Human Potential. It stems from my deep conviction that you have the ability to be focused and fearless in everything that you do but you are all too often blocked from accessing it. I believe that, with daily practice, you can create the optimal environment to harness your boundless intelligence, your SoulForce, and infuse it into every area of your life.
Sounds great, huh? Well it could be, but to be perfectly honest, writing this book has revealed to me how I am so often blocked from my SoulForce. Writing this book has been like staring in the mirror under florescent lights. It has been painfully humbling.
The process of writing doesn’t come easily to me. I am much more confident as a verbal communicator. The words that effortlessly flow from me when teaching a yoga class get all tangled up in my doubting mind when writing. While I plug through my book proposal and prepare to send it to potential agents, I find myself weighed down by doubt, by that occasional little voice in my head that squeaks, “Who am I to write a book? Or, There are so many books out there, who is going to want to represent me?”
When my mind is steady and bright, I can clearly see that doubt is a simply a thin veil that separates me from being fearless. This thin veil, however, has a powerful way of shutting down my voice and mucking up my insights. Even though I am getting better at facing my doubt when it rears its ugly head, I have not mastered conquering it just yet. I do finally have the awareness to know that it is futile to try to fight doubt on my laptop. I’ve learned that it is best to surrender, to turn off the computer and let the book be until my doubt has become weary of its own whining and has dissolved.
These days, I’ve learned to be patient with doubt and wait it out it’s eventual passing. I won’t return to writing until I feel that I am at ease once again for I know that I am a much better writer when I operate from my focus and fearlessness. It is then, and only then I plunge in and forge ahead.
What a process this is. What a crazy game! In writing SoulForce, I have become intimate with doubt. I see immediately how I am able to lose confidence. I see how I block my own SoulForce. It’s like cruel on the job training that feels like learning how to operate a roller coaster while riding a roller coaster, over and over again.
To be continued…