Living On The Verge: Thank you for showing up—for me

viralLast week my post, Showing Up For Cayman’s Parents, went viral—well viral in my world—and probably a bump on the radar for those big time bloggers. Nonetheless, thousands read my post, many times over and people from all over the world reached out to share their stories about the loss of a child or their experience with suicide.

It was an exquisitely tender few days as I danced between responding to heartfelt comments and being there for my grieving friends—Cayman’s parents. Some comments I felt called to acknowledge. Many I couldn’t muster up the mental capacity to respond to. I had to stay focused on my friends, who just needed me by their side, ready to offer a hug.

Last week, as I was showing up for Cayman’s parents, you were showing up for me—all of you—when I needed you most. Your tremendous response to my post picked me up and recharged my spirit. It was as if you were right by my side ready to offer a hug.

  • Every time someone viewed the post it was like you telling me to “Hang in there”
  • Each comment received was like you putting your hand on my back
  • Every share or retweet was like you giving me a thumbs up

It’s been an unimaginable two weeks that stripped away everything not essential, leaving me raw to the bone—from there I shared my soul—and you were ready to listen.

You met me in the rawness of a tragic moment and embraced my words. You carried my voice across the world. You acknowledged my experience as caregiver and helped me feel needed and relevant.

Not only did Cayman’s death change me forever, but you also changed me as well. To every person who read my post last week—you touched my heart and gave me the boost needed to trust that my voice can perhaps reach thousands across the world again.

At the end of the day we don’t really know whether our comments or shared posts really make a difference to anyone. Well, last week you did make a difference—to me, and to Cayman’s parents—and in a really big way.

Thank you for showing up.

Comments 3

  1. Cara…you don’t know me but I know you virtually taking your class on Vimeo for almost a year. I found your virtual yoga by looking for Rachel and feel like we (you and I) have practiced together. I coincidentally found your blog last week and was attracted to your post because I have a 16 year old son who has struggled with depression for 4 years and with everyone else in the area I have held you all in my soul. I didn’t respond last week because it was too close to home. But now as you and Caymen’s parents sat with me all day yesterday and well into the night after my son was admitted for a suicide attempt I felt compelled to say thank you for being with me as we are all holding each other–as Mark Nepo says so beautifully suffering makes an instrument of each of us, so that standing naked, holes and all, the unseen vitalities can be heard through our simplified lives.

    1. Oh Trish, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Thank you for reaching out. Please keep doing so. My email is I hope that I can even a little bit of support to you during this time. Mark Nepo certainly has the words that I so often struggle to find during times like this. Sending my love and prayers. Cara

  2. Thanks for posting this, Cara. I have been wondering how Caymen’s parents and you have been doing. I know the living hell that they are going through. Hoping each day gets a fraction easier….but knowing that is not likely….yet. Hugs.

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