Are you a WE or a ME?


As published by

There are two types of people in this world.

Those who make you feel really good about yourself and those who leave you feeling left out in the cold and hung out to dry? The ones that make you feel really good acknowledge your birthday, your good work, and even your smile. They ask you questions and listen to your answers. Then there are those who unconsciously make you feel small, they don’t listen and don’t seem to care.

Every day you come across these two types, the ME’s and the WE’s. Which one do you tend to be?

Consider the following:

  • ME is exclusive
  • WE is inclusive
  • ME judges
  • WE acknowledges
  • ME is insecure
  • WE is confident

Are you a WE or a ME?

The truth is, you are both. Throughout the day you move through a range of being completely self-absorbed and recognizing the goodness in all living beings.

When you show up in the Now, present in the moment, you effortlessly operate from a WE state. You’re aware of whose around you and what they need. When you’re busy or stressed, you get caught in the ME state, unable to listen to, connect with, or acknowledge others.

  • ME is self-interested
  • WE is curious and compassionate
  • ME boasts about personal success
  • WE shares the wealth
  • ME is a solo traveler
  • WE is a team player

The good news is that it’s fairly simple to snap yourself out of ME and point yourself in the direction of WE. Ask yourself this question throughout the day:

Am I a WE or a ME?

Ask it while getting ready in the morning, in the line at Starbucks, as you head into your first meeting, when navigating the merge in traffic, when you’re hungry, when your mother calls. Asking this question stops you in your tracks, especially if you’re headed down the path of, “watch out I’ve got stuff to do,” and “my stuff is more important than your stuff.”

“Am I a WE or a ME” is like a quick litmus test. You don’t even need to answer the question. Oftentimes just asking it is enough to snap you out of your closed up, self-important state. Here’s what I’ve found by looking at my own tendencies:

  • As a WE, I am a good listener
  • As a ME, I interrupt or get restless
  • As a WE, I am fearless and abundant
  • As a ME, I am scared and scarce
  • As a WE, I feel content
  • As a ME, I feel fragmented and unsettled

You don’t really want to be a ME, no one does. You don’t want to appear self-absorbed or too busy for others, but sometimes it happens. I get it. Believe me, I’m a ME sometimes too. At the end of the day, being a ME is not that much fun and it makes life messy. Too much ME and not enough WE isn’t good for the world.

Here’s how you can do your part:

  • Be a good listener
  • See the good in others
  • Let the small stuff go
  • Acknowledge the success of others
  • Compliment often
  • Include others in your success
  • Ask for help (even if you don’t need it)
  • Encourage others to follow their dreams
  • Embrace different views
  • Be available for advice
  • Help others shine

I have a dream that as more and more people wake up from their own narcissistic slumber they’ll start showing up for each other. I have a dream that someday the WE’s will outnumber the ME’s.


Cara’s posts published by also include: What is your “Yes?” and Catch a Glimpse of Being Fully Alive

Cara Bradley - Motivational Speaker and Author

Cara Bradley

Mind-Body Training

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